I am a Forty year old Failure!

I have never been married. I have no kids. Currently my job is waiting tables. I only have a 2yr degree in Culinary Arts and never really did anything with it. I’ve worked in Food & Beverage for well over 20yrs and have no appreciation for my time & experience invested.
I constantly make bad decisions throughout my life.
I currently have about $30,000 in debt, $18K I owe to the IRS. If you count my home that’s in a state of Foreclosure, my debt just shot up an additional $118K
I don’t really have a family. I have no brothers nor sisters. My Father remarried many years ago and has a wonderful life with his new family. We speak from time to time on holidays & birthdays where he asked me the typical questions: how’s your life? What are you doing for money these days? blah blah!
My Mother is a recluse whom I barely speak with anymore. We use to have a decent relationship and spoke quite often but all that’s changed now.
By societies standards… I am a Failure! I own nothing but debt! I have no direction nor motivation! I have no ambition nor future to look forward to!
After my fail attempt of switching careers and going into Real Estate I realized I’m not cut out for this world we live in. I tried to fit in the best I could. I bought a house, I paid my bills and my taxes. I was a good little Americian and played my part as a Consumer and consumed! I was good at being selfish & self-centered, why not I was raised an only child. I didn’t have to share or give to anyone, just take take take!
Money this and money that!
Shit, that’s all anyone in my life has ever talked about. Back when I was 16 my parents decide to divorce each other, all that was discussed was….Money! Take this, take that! The house, the car… The money! Your Father is this.. Your Mother is that..
I write this not for your pity nor your sympathy. Hell, I don’t even want your understanding. I’m just being selfish again and writing this for myself. To vent some of this pent up frustration and disappointment I have for myself.

I do this because I just want to set the record straight…
I am a Failure and there is nothing you can do about it!